MADRAS
Someone: Man. How do you live here?
Madrasi: Er..essentially by eating, breathing and sleeping…Do you live by something else? Energy pills?
Someone: huh
Madrasi: Coming to think about it, that’s how I live even when I am not here
Someone: I am talking seriously dude. I mean. I can’t stand it.
Madrasi: Stand what? Me living?
Someone: No. Living here.
Madrasi: You can’t stand me living here? Now why would u do that?
Someone: Crap. Why would I care about you? I am talking for myself. I can’t stand living here.
Madrasi: Tried dying here? Were you able to stand that?
Someone: Enough of this rubbish madrasi. You know what I am talking about.
Madrasi: Seriously. I am clueless. Tell me cant you? What is it that you hate it here?
Someone: Don’t even get me started dude.
Madrasi: I insist. Do you have an ignition key?
Someone: What?
Madrasi: Never mind. So tell me.
Someone: Man. What to say. I mean. One thing, this place is very conservative.
Madrasi: Please. Define it for me. Piece by piece.
Someone: er..I mean...er…hmmm…I mean…
Madrasi: Making a statement without even understanding what it means amounts to despicable hypocrisy. And when that statement is an allegation, it amounts to apathetic malice.
Someone: Fine. I tried to be nice.
Madrasi: By being dumb?
Someone: You are asking for it man.
Madrasi: Yes indeed.
Someone: First of all, there are no pubs here
Madrasi: What? There are soo many gorgeous pups here..anyway you have not even seen any dogs here? How do you think they came about?
Someone: PUBs. P – U – B.
Madrasi: Ofcourse there are pubs here. Are you blind too? Must be tough man. Being dumb and blind. You can neither get a clue nor see one. Sad.
Someone: Really? Name one.
Madrasi: Er..What’s that..Something about barrels going on bikes or something like that.
Someone: Yeah. May be. One or two. Here and there. Not many pubs.
Madrasi: You want a pub in every street?
Someone: Same thing with discos etc
Madrasi: Are you saying that pub and discs are like a basic necessity that every human should have access to? Like education and healthcare? Man. You are a humanist.
Someone: Look. What I am saying is, even when there are many pubs here people won’t go to them
Madrasi: Did you take a survey?
Someone: It’s pretty apparent
Madrasi: And you are not able to stand that? You feel irritated to be among people who are not even using their access to pubs?
Madrasi: Why does it bother you anyway?
Someone: I don’t know. I just feel irritated by the fact that people are not living their life.
Madrasi: er...right…
Someone: And this place doesn’t even have a night life..
Madrasi: like bats and owls?
Someone: That mall? It closes down at 930 10 man.. What kind of a mall is that?
Madrasi: Don’t the people who work there need to get home, sleep may be? I am sure there are many other places which are open a little late
Someone: Whatever. But it’s scary right? If everything starts closing down.. I mean…
Madrasi: So you want others, who are not living their life, who don’t have a night life, who don’t go to pubs, to be awake and running about so that you, who is living life and having a night life can feel safe?
Someone: er...
Madrasi: why should people who are traditional to the extent of almost being uncivilized in your eyes do things which they have no intention of doing so that you are comfortable? Why are the obligated to you?
Someone: Fine. Look at my friend. Most of the times he likes being home, spending leisure time on even a WEEKEND. Can you believe that? Losers man.
Madrasi: Being home is losing? And besides what makes you qualified to comment about somebody’s preferences? At least they don’t expect others to do things so that they feel comfortable roaming around at 1 Am.
Madrasi: Anyway are you like totally lost. So many people are out there on weekends. Movies , beaches, eat outs etc
Someone: Whatever. Chennai is still a very conservative place.
Madrasi: You mean a majority of the people would prefer not to fornicate? Or in the open?
Someone: What?
Madrasi: No No. I was not stating that. Was merely asking you what you are referring to when you say Chennai is conservative.
Someone: My family for instance is extremely orthodox. My mom asks me why I reached late if I reach home later than 8 PM.
Madrasi: And how is that Chennai’s mistake, assuming it’s indeed a mistake.
Someone: It’s because my family is in Chennai.
Madrasi: How? You mean to say your mom would let you reach later if it’s some other place?
Someone: Er..
Madrasi: Why is Chennai responsible for your family sentiments? May be many families share similar sentiments. So what? Next you will probably say your uncle’s schizophrenic condition is caused by Chennai.
Madrasi: Anyway, don’t you think the place is too hot?
Someone: Ya Ya. Extremely Hot. Unbearably humid. Irritating.
Madrasi: What do you propose we do about it? Cause an artificial tectonic shift so as to favorably alter the latitude of Chennai?
Someone: HA ha. Funny.
Madrasi: Seriously? You found that funny? So you do understand that the Chennai people can’t possibly do anything about the temperature?
Someone: What?
Madrasi: hmmm..for a moment I thought you actually showed some trace of the ability to think logically.
Someone: And auto drivers are cheaters man.
Madrasi: Precisely. Not all of them though. But I accept your point completely. “Some auto drivers are cheaters”. But that’s a universal statement. The first premise. The second premise can be “There are auto drivers in Chennai”. So by syllogism the conclusion is some auto drivers in Chennai are cheaters. My point being the second premise can be anything. You fit any place in the sentence and the syllogism still holds.
Someone: What? Are we talking about Chennai or not?
Madrasi: Absolutely.
I wouldn’t deny the fact that I wrote this because it was beginning to get on my nerves with people saying illogical stuff about Madras. Everyplace has its pros and cons. And every place has to be different. IF Madras has to have the life of Mumbai or the climate of Bangalore then it might as well be called as Bangalore2 or Mumbai2. We like the place we like no matter what. So I apologise if I had said anything against the place you like. And I demand an apology if you had said anything about Madras! My Madras!
18 comments:
you said it all!!! :) singara chennai vaazhga :)
On principle, I don't complement. you should know.. but i'm willing to make an exception this time.
@Ramya
Yo! Go Madras Go!
@Smartiban
I am honored :)
sankar
chennai sucks and you know it. don't do this vetti victim mentality.
we hates it...we hates chennai forever...
@Bala..
Did that sound like "victim talk" ? ;)
dear sankar
you should not have deleted karthika's comments man. :)
They were a post on their own but you have to accept her points whatever they may be. she was spot on especially on the conservationism - i see what my sister (and even me) was allowed back in bombay and what she is allowed now in chennai (and mind you they are not petty things).
I am sorry you take it personally but thats negative attachment man, and thats why that did sound like victim talk. you should be attached for only the positives like short distances and whatever your personal points of like may be. but being overtly defensive and sarcastically offensive (your dialogue) only makes you sound arrogant if anything man. this dialogue was almost like a religious right rhetoric becuase of the negative attachment. there are good things about chennai and i actually do like the place but others will say the same only when the latent arrogance of the place (fairly unique i observe) is given up on.
come on, sankar! i, of all people, dont have to teach you this things man! the world outside chennai is also ours dude! chill!
Sheesh..guys...
this is like the most controversial post Ive ever written and given that I am a innocent paavam guy I feel terribly way over my head here actually.
My apologies to all who felt hurt/offended/etc
My only intent was to get across the point that people have their own preferences. May be people of one locality have similar preferences. I dont know. The point being when somebody is indeed passing an unwarranted comment like "What? You dont drink? ya..many chennai people are like that", I have no option but to "defend" madras along with me. The problem lies with stereotyping. That is my point. Why do people think they can comment about other people's preferences? Its totally upto the person whether he/she wants to booze or not to booze or sleep late or not to sleep late or whatever. How at all is someone eligible to comment on that let alone stereotype him/her along with a place?
Is being defensive bad? yes. absolutely. Accepted.
But for that the need that causes the person to be defensive should cease too.
My apologies for the unwanted sarcasm and I am not denying that madras has its negatives.
totally agreed sankar. stereotyping is wrong but as much as others stereotype the people of chennai and chennai itself, the same is returned back ("oh you're from bombay, you must be drenched in nightlife. do you know the underworld?" - a half dozen students from our very own wonderful batch asked me in the first sem). not to crap the people of chennai again but it only goes to show that stereotyping is a general people problem and not specifically driven towards one place or populace. on a balance, for the stereotyping and dismissing trait,all over the world we are the same. another unfortunate truth that we have to really get rid of.
absolutely.I am sure thats extremely irritating when people do that aint it?
I accept I flawed by being overtly defensive, but wouldnt you be tempted to "defend" mumbai too when somebody says those crap to you?
It so happened to me that I happened to be from chennai and I faced this side of it.
about 2 years ago i probably would have reacted like that. now if its a reasonable comment i take it (too crowded, garbage everywhere). if it is unreasonable stereotyping,it is quite pointless, so i do my own brand of dismissal by rolling my eyes and carrying on with my day.
my grandmother used to say, "yeri mela kovam pattu ennamo pannama ponanan".
if it is friendly banter enjoy it. if it gets beyond that, escape it.
either ways, attachment or hate does not stop any of us from going elsewhere for fun or work. so lets take it at that level.
free aa vidu da.
I AM NOT deleting them...
and when it says the author deleted it, it refers to the author of the comment...not the author of the blog post...
sheesh..
use some discretion guys!before u pass judgement...
it seems to the same problem everywhere! we the people lack discretion! and when we do that, we do really piss others off.
I guess its like the cyclical karma..a cycle of pissing off..
I AM NOT deleting them...
and when it says the author deleted it, it refers to the author of the comment...not the author of the blog post...
sheesh..
use some discretion guys!before u pass judgement...
it seems to the same problem everywhere! we the people lack discretion! and when we do that, we do really piss others off.
I guess its like the cyclical karma..a cycle of pissing off..
ah..dint know tats wat i meant...der deleted my own previous comment now :)
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