Hoodibaba

Hoodibaba
I love driving. Many of us do. In my opinion it is a perfect synergy between man and machine. In a bike, the foot changes the gear, the hand turns and accelerates and operates the clutch and the other foot handles the brake and the eyes are scanning for any moron that (sorry...any moron on the road is not worth the same semantic/grammar norms that are applicable for a living thing)might dash from somewhere, the ear keen for any screeching or blazing sound nearby and all the while the mind in its own shell, dreaming, thinking, humming and not in the least bothered with what the hands, feet, eyes or ears are doing.

Bliss.

I have driven my bike so much that I really feel so comfortable when I get on it. In fact the feeling is somewhat near to what I feel when I return home from the hostel or something like that. The other brilliant thing about driving is that I get that time for myself. Not that I can’t stand people. But it is the time I have for myself without me intentionally ignoring anybody. That is awesome isn’t it?

I like driving so much that I keep drawing parallels between driving and literally anything. I am just typing the following pointers with the same style of old adages and sayings that use the word “you” which gives the impression that it is being told to us(the readers) who are younger and naive and inexperienced by the un-inexperienced, un-naive and un-young wise people( the writers or speakers). I personally feel offended by that style. So I am using it here.

If you think you are a bad driver, then you are. So don’t drive.

If someone you know is a bad driver then tell them they are a bad driver. Show your love by driving them, not fooling them.

When you see a pit on your way, slow down. Because if you swerve, YOU are in somebody’s way.

Don’t be in a mad rush to overtake. There is always going to be someone in front of you.

When you are going to turn and change your direction, make clear your intentions.

If somebody is coming with you, consider them.

When the signal is red, don’t intimidate the one who is in front of you to break the law because you want to break the law.

You are allowed to hurt yourself. But don’t hurt somebody else in that.

You are not born good at it. So make a conscious effort.

There will always be someone who is slower than you.

There will always be someone who is faster than you.

Going slow is as seducing as going fast. Choose your own speed.

Enjoy it. You are going to arrive at the end, whatever the traffic.

Wear a helmet. Controlled paranoia is good.

Don’t assume someone is good at it and go with them. You might lose your life.

On the road, assume everybody other than you have no idea what is driving.

If you are in a car, don’t get angry at a biker. As much as they deserve to die, they would, actually biologically die if you do.

If you are in a bike, don’t get angry at a car guy. As much as they deserve to die, YOU would, unfortunately biologically die, if you do.

Don’t imitate. Your own style is the only style that will keep you alive. Single or not.

Don’t keep changing lanes. It might be fun to you but it is irritating and confusing for others.

Accepted you have got a horn. Don’t blow it too often.

OK. That was for fun. And I thought I will have to stop because right now I am being my crapping best and I would go on(especially because I am typing and nobody is there to tell me to shut up) if I don’t consciously stop it.

And it was not about driving. Remember I told you about parallels. Draw them. :)

My bike. Bajaj Caliber 115. I love my bike. I think I have driven some 30000 kilometres on it. And my bike is green. As in the colour of the paint and it is just so lovely. You know, technically I just said something that would make me a hypocrite. Because my favourite colour is black. And if I had got a new bike when I did get that bike I would have got myself a black one. But at that time it looked pragmatic to get a used one and colour, obviously is not a factor in this case. So green it was. It’s almost 4 years now. I was very particular about this model. One thing, I learnt driving in a Bajaj Kawasaki. So I wanted to get one in the same league. And it may not have been a factor, but I loved the ads for my bike. All of them involved a son and his dad. Marketing people should consider it. It’s almost irritating nowadays to see a bike ad where the guy is trying to impress a girl or the girl is automatically impressed with the guy because of the bike. I know all of us are interested in this arena. But come on they are actually insulting us. We have other interests too. Don’t we? (If you said no then way to go buddy!) Well anyway I found the ads more powerful, more attractive and better conceived. (Of course! I own the bike. I am obviously biased. What do you expect? Huh?).


It was a bike when my dad bought it for me. Now it’s MY bike. It is that prejudice that develops over time. I know it gives a lot of problems. I know it has a pathetic mileage. And it’s green! But I just like it. In fact when somebody tells me that they are not able to drive my bike I feel pretty smug about it. Proud of it in fact. I know. Ooops. That revealed my possessive side. Anyway my point is its brilliant that humans (I. We) have this ability to be subjective. I mean. I think about it myself and I wonder about it. It’s an old, second hand, green bike that is performing way below what it should be. But I don’t feel like selling it. In fact it’s not that passive indifference. I actually want to keep it. It fits me.

I think I read this story in one of the chicken soup books. It is about this small boy who goes to the pet shop everyday to look at all the pups. The kid had no money so he would just go there to look. He was collecting money to get his pup. The shop keeper knew him well because he went there every day. Then the day came and the kid got all his savings and came to the shop. But the kid did not have enough money. He was short by some amount. The shop keeper realised this but did not have the heart to tell him that and so decided to see what the kid chooses. If he chooses a lesser breed then he would have the kid have the pup for the money he has. Then he took the kid to the kennel where all the pups where kept. And all the pups came running towards toward excited about seeing somebody. All of them wagging their tails and looking at them. Then one came limping in the last. The pup had some problem with one of his legs (Somehow I didn’t feel like saying “it”. That is for the morons on the road). He couldn’t run. But he was as much excited as the other pups where. He was wagging his tail too. But he was slow. The kid immediately selected him. The shop keeper was a little taken aback. He said to the kid that he would never be able to run and play with the pup because of the pup’s inability. Then he also said that the kid can have the pup for free because nobody else would buy him anyway. The kid insisted on paying. He lifted his pants and showed the steel artificial leg. And he said “I don’t want him to run with me. I want him to walk with me. And he is as much worth as any other pup there. I would pay the remaining amount when I have collected enough”. That was my own rendition of the story. But you get the point right? In this case my bike fits my style perfectly.

Why would I want to get something new when I already have what I need? That is possessing something. When we know that we have it. When we, without realising, use the possessive adjective “my”.

But it takes time. Yes.

“Owning” or “having” is different from “possessing”.